DIPPER PINES UP FOR AUCTION!
by xxxxxcddrthdfbnmoilyxxxxxx
Summary: "There are hundreds of fangirls for you, Dipper, who I'm not kidding, would literally pay a fortune for you." Stan grinned. "A fortune, you say?"
1. YAY DIPPER EEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Hello everyone! My name is Journal Sketch, and I haven't been on here in practically forever! I've pretty much abandoned 80% of the fanfictions that I started over a year ago, so if you were looking forward to any of those, sorry, but whatevs. I kinda got the idea to write this after watching Roadside Attraction. I mean, I liked Dipper before, but after watching that episode, fangirlness swept me over like a freakin' tsunami. So..yeah...now I'm writing this. I think that I'm gonna go contemplate over my life after this.**

 **ATTENTION DIPPER FANGIRLS:**

 **Have you ever wanted to be in a relationship with Dipper? Don't lie, admit it, you have. You practically lie awake at night thinking about him! Well, now you can-at least in this fanfiction! I am accepting any Dipper fans to be in this story, and we're all going to be competing for him-and yes, I am putting myself in this, but don't worry-that DOES NOT mean that I'm gonna be making myself the center of attention and the one who gets Dipper in the end. I'm not _that_ selfish-yeesh!  
**

 **All you need to do is PM me, and put this in for your submission:**

 **-Your Name (actual name, or username, I don't really care).**

 **-Basic Physical Features (hair color, eye color, height, all o' 'dat jazz).**

 **-Interests (favorite color, hobbies, talents, stuff you like, etc.).**

 **-Tell me what you want me to describe you as personality-wise in the story, as well as anything that you want to have happen to you or some action that you want to do. DO NOT tell me that you want to be the one who ends up with Dipper-because that's all of us. HOWEVER, I _might_ accept some fangirls to do some kissing-but if I do, then it wouldn't be everybody, 'cause then there would be kissing in every chapter.**

 **So that's pretty much it. Enjoy the** **fic!**

It was the end of another strange day in Gravity Falls, and the Pines family had just gotten back from their road trip, along with Candy and Grenda. They had spent the whole time getting revenge on other tourist traps, as well as other things for that matter. Unfortunately, they returned to find that the owners of the other tourist traps had done a little revenge on their own. The shack was in a huge array of graffiti and all sorts of messes. Since they had no idea where the heck Soos was, the whole family had to clean everything up. And by the whole family, I mean Dipper and Mable did all of the work, while Stan was sitting on his butt yapping out orders.

"Put some elbow grease on it, Dipper!" he shouted up to the roof while he was eating a cherry popsicle.

"Grunkle Stan, don't you think that we should clean with something more efficient than just a sponge and water?" Dipper asked.

"We've been working so long, that now my fingers are all prune y from the water!" Mabel complained, then looked at her wrinkly fingers with fascination. She then started to rub them on her face. " _So prune y..._ " she whispered.

All of a sudden, there was a loud crash in the front yard. The twins looked down, and Stan looked up from his popsicle. Right in the front yard, there was a...

"A police telephone booth?" Dipper stared in wonder. Suddenly, the front door opened, and a girl who seemed to be about the same age as the twins, with natural **(A/N: I just want to make it clear that yes, my hair is NATURALLY blonde, NOT DYED-in your face fake blondes! JK Dowhatyouwantpleasedon'thurtme!)** blonde hair, and blue eyes. She had a huge smile on her face.

"WOOHOO!" She shouted. "IT WORKED! I'M FINALLY IN GRAVITY FALLS!" She then began to run around like a maniac, then stopped when she noticed that everybody was staring at her like she was crazy.

"Hey, you're on private property, and you just damaged my yard!" Stan shouted. "That's gonna cost around...five hundred dollars!"

The girl just laughed.

"Nice to meet you too, Stanford-I mean-Stanley Pines. Dang it, I still say the wrong name sometimes."

"What?!" The Pines asked. Suddenly, Ford rushed outside. He saw the crash on the cameras in his lab downstairs, and was ready to face any new hostile enemy.

"Stand back alien fiend! What do you want?" he asked.

"Alien?" Dipper questioned.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the girl raised her arms, "there are some nasty accusations being thrown out right now. Allow me to explain:"

"My name is Genna, but here, I like to be called Journal Sketch. I'm from what I'd like to call the real world. Meanwhile, you guys, as well as several others, are...well..."

"We're what?" Dipper asked.

"You guys are all just a fictional cartoon called Gravity Falls and before you tell me to prove it, I'm going to do that right now: Your name is Mable Pines, and you went to the hospital once for eating a box of scratch-and-sniff stickers." Journal pointed at Mable, who gasped.

"Your name is Stanley Pines and you haven't been able to master the same coin trick since 1982-or is it 1983-I kind of forgot."

"What?! Listen to her, now's she's just talking crazy! I know every coin trick there is!"

"You're Stanford-A.K.A. 'Ford,' and for thirty years you were stuck in a crazy dimension thanks to the portal thingy that you built with Bill Cipher's help."

"How do you know that?!"

"And you," she pointed towards Dipper, "You're Dipper Pines, and you secretly listen to nerd rock."

"Wait what?" Mable grinned.

"N-no I don't!" Dipper put his head down. Mable laughed. Dipper pushed aside that embarrassing moment, and spoke up to Journal:

"So...we're just...a TV show?" he asked.

"You bet!" Journal grinned.

"If we're just a TV show, then how did you get here?" Ford asked.

"Good question! Well, you see, it kinda started when I couldn't really sleep, and I had a dream about Bill, who I may have kind of made a deal with..." Journal laughed nervously.

"You what?!" Ford gasped. "Why would you do such a thing?!"

"Hey, give me a break! He's just fiction in our world, so I thought it really was just a harmless dream, and he wasn't really real. Well, I guess that Bill _isn't_ actually real, but you get my point. From the deal, a portal opened between our world and the world of every fictional creation ever."

"So, you mean, other shows and stuff?" Dipper asked.

"Did you meet any unicorns that weren't jerks?" Mable shouted.

"Yes, and yes. Before I came into your guys' show, I was having quite a blast! I even stole the T.A.R.D.I.S., in case you hadn't noticed!" Journal guested to the blue box.

"So, are people fans of us in your world?" Dipper said.

"Oh, absolutely! I've gotta' say, there are a lot of good shows and media stuff out there, but overall, you guys are pretty much the best! You have some of the best, craziest fans, theorists, and fangirls! Also-"

"Wait," Mable interrupted, "Did you say fangirls?!"

"Of course I did!" Journal beamed. "Most of them all love a character from here, more or less, and I'm not gonna lie, some of them can get pretty...intense. Also, Dipper, you have like, hundreds of fangirls, who I'm not kidding, would pay a fortune for you."

"WHAT?!" Everybody looked completely stunned by the statement, shocked by the fact that there were hoards of girls that obsessed over the awkward, sweaty boy. Dipper's face was a stunned, bright red. Meanwhile, Stan was grinning.

"A fortune, you say?" He started to get a look that you know is going to lead to something bad, and began to rub his hands together mischievously.

"Wait, NO." Journal said. "I have a bad idea as to what you're thinking, and just NO."

"Dipper, tomorrow, you're going on auction!" the old man announced.

"Wait, WHAT?!"

And so the madness begins...


	2. IT BEGINS

**Sorry that this took so long, but you see, I made stupid mistakes along the way, and twice had accidentally closed off my document without saving it. That, and the fact that I've kind of been in the works of developing a little crossover fanfic... But through all the sorrow, I was nonetheless able to create this. Hooray!**

 **Also this takes place after Roadside Attraction may I remind you, so none of that crazy Bill apocalypse stuff has happened yet.**

 **Anyways, thanks to all of the people who were patient enough to wait for this! :)**

"Ladies and gentlemen! Come one, come all, to the event of a lifetime-your one and only chance to buy this...er...fine young man to have as your own-or something like that." as Stan beckoned people over to the auctioning, quite a few of the townsfolk had gathered around to see what the heck was going on. Dipper had been tied to a chair with duct tape against his own free will, and was placed on a high stand for everyone to see.

"Stan, don't you think we should be worrying about Bill instead of this?" Dipper asked. Stan waved his hand in dismissal.

"Bill, Shmill! Right now we're talking 'bout making millions-no, billions!"

All of a sudden, a ginormous spaceship crashed into the side of the Shack (the Millennium Falcon, to be exact).

"Oh, come on!" Stan cried out. "First the weird box-thingy and now THIS?!"

The main hatch-or whatever thingy that opens the thing-opened, and out rushed a bunch of girls.

"Phew!" sighed a girl with long wavy brown locks, green eyes, and some strange shirt with a pink mustache that none of the characters could recognize. "Now _that_ is what I call a grand entrance! Sorry about the gaping hole we made in your house."

"Who are you guys?" Mabel asked. "Are you from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away?"

"Allow us to introduce ourselves." said the pink mustache girl. "The name's LeelaSmall, and I have an IQ high enough to fly the Millennium Falcon-which I just did."

"You crashed it." Another girl pointed out. Before Leela (btw, is that supposed to be referencing Futurama, or do you just like the name Leela or something?) could reply, one of the other girls stepped forward. She had light tanned skin, black hair and big brown eyes. A blue headband rested on top of her head, and she was about Mabel's height.

"Uh...hi. I'm Nicole." And with that, she stepped back.

Next came a girl with black hair and gray eyes. She wore a dark green shirt with an unbuttoned flannel shirt covering it, black pants, and combat boots to top it off.

"Hi! I'm QuixoticEntity-Q for short. I guess you could say I'm the fun supernatural-loving one." And with a grin, she stepped aside to make way for another girl. She had light skin, and black hair that went down to her shoulders, and the rest of the way down it was blue. A black and purple sweater was worn that made her stand out more, and beside her stood an orange cat rubbing against her leg.

"My name is Chip, and...I'm here...so that's a thing."

All of a sudden, a girl jumped in.

"Hi Dipper! I'm Mouse and I love watching your show!" she had long brown hair and gray eyes. She beamed at Dipper, who grinned uncomfortably. A girl gently moved Mouse to the side and spoke:

"My name is Autumn, and I really enjoy a good mystery!" She glanced over at Dipper when she said that last part and made a slight smile. She had copper hair, blue eyes, and wore a blue t-shirt.

"Hi, I'm Ashley Tigers." spoke a girl with black wavy hair, green eyes, tan skin, and an hourglass shape. She had a pretty serious look on her face. "I-"

"GREETINGS, HUMANS OF !" A girl with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes jumped into the conversation turned towards you. Then she turned back towards everybody that was actually in the fanfiction. "I'm Emma Peters...and..uh...yeah. By the way Mabel, yes, we are from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away."

"No, we're not." Autumn objected.

"We're actually here from the real world to participate in the auction!" Nicole said.

"Oh hey guys!" Journal greeted towards the fangirls, who waved back. "Glad you made it!"

"Can we start the auction now?" Mouse asked.

"Of course!" Stan grinned. "Now, for this boy, how about we start off at...three hundred dollars?" everybody raised their hands eagerly.

"I'm getting the camera!" Mabel squealed with excitement as she ran upstairs.

It had been five hours, and the auction was still going on. Since nobody in the room was a billionare, they all started offering up items, and it was beginning to get a little violent.

"I'LL OFFER THE MILLENNIUM FALCON THAT I STOLE!" LeelaSmall cried out.

"I'LL OFFER THE TARDIS THAT I STOLE!" Journal shouted even louder.

"I'LL OFFER THE MASSIVE THAT I STOLE!" Emma spoke up.

"Wait, what?!"

"Since Journal and Leela both stole a spaceship, I figured I'd do the same." she shrugged. "IN YOUR FACE, YOU ****!" everybody gasped.

"Woah Emma," Chip said, "we may not be from Gravity Falls but THIS IS K7-RATED LANGUAGE ONLY!"

Dipper (who was still taped to the chair) sighed. "This is going to be a long day."

"Wait," Journal said in sudden realization, "WHY DIDN'T I STEAL THE MASSIVE?!"

And so the insane auction carried on.

 **That's all for now, folks! Sorry if I didn't describe any of you quite like how you wanted it to be. Anybody else who wants to join in on this is free to do so-every Dipper-lover is welcome! Make sure to keep a lookout for updates on this story!**

 **Sincerely,**

 **Journal Sketch.**


End file.
